ABOUT YOU
Here’s what I know so far…
You’re experiencing, or wanting to make, some kind of change in your life.
That’s a very broad statement so I’ve put together a few examples of the kinds of clients who have benefitted from working with me.
“it feels like EVERYTHING’S CHANGING at once”
How it is – You’re in the midst of a whole lot of change – some good, some not. These changes are coming from all directions (including hormonal changes and changes inside your body). It feels overwhelming.
You feel like you’re being pulled in different directions and that there aren’t enough hours in the day.
You’re in survival mode and there’s no time/opportunity to process, relax or have fun.
What you’re thinking
‘I’m failing at everything’, ‘I’m letting everyone down’, Everyone else seems to be coping, why aren’t I?’, ‘I should be doing better’, ‘I can’t cope’, I’ve got to just get on with it’, ‘I have to do it all myself’, ‘I’m losing it’.
Your mind is future-focused, trying to anticipate different scenarios, and solve them. You’re tangled up in over-thinking.
You might also be full of self-doubt, constantly questioning whether you’re doing the right thing.
You’re struggling to focus, make decisions, or prioritise.
How you’re feeling
Emotionally you might be anxious, stressed, worried, nervous, scared, overwhelmed, or numb. You might be feeling guilty because you think you’re letting people down. Maybe you’re feeling ashamed or embarrassed because you think you should be coping better.
Your body is in survival mode, making it harder to think straight. Physical symptoms like tension, brain fog, feeling sick or churning stomach, headaches, poor sleep, appetite changes, racing heart, tearfulness, and tight chest are common. You might feel detached from reality, or disconnected from the people around you.
What you’re doing & saying
Chasing your tail, doing more and doing it faster, maybe forgetting things, making mistakes, being clumsier than usual.
Maybe you’re procrastinating and putting off tasks or decisions, scrolling on social media.
You’re not taking care of yourself because you think there isn’t time for that, everyone else comes first.
You could be ‘people-pleasing’, saying yes to things to avoid conflict or upset. Equally you might be more snappy and impatient than usual.
You’re ignoring (or trying to ignore) your body screaming at you to slow down. You might be turning down offers of help, or not seeking support from others.
“it feels like Nothing’s changing at all”
How it is – You’re feeling stuck or dissatisfied. You can see that you’re repeating old patterns and you want to break the cycle. You’re finding yourself caught up with old self-stories, limiting beliefs and unhelpful narratives. You’re being pushed around by your feelings and are reacting rather than responding.
What you’re thinking –
‘Why do I keep doing this?’, ‘Why am I in this situation again?’, ‘What’s wrong with me?’, ‘I should be able to break this cycle’, ‘I have to change this’, ‘I’ll never be able to change this’.
You’re probably full of self-criticism and self-blame, giving yourself a hard time for feeling how you’re feeling. Maybe you’re telling yourself that you should be grateful for what you have, that it’s wrong to want something more/different. Or that you’re undeserving and unworthy of more/different/better.
Your mind is going round and round in circles, trying to find the root cause, someone or something to blame, or a solution. You might be going over the past, replaying and rehashing situations. You’re tangled up in self-stories and limiting beliefs.
How you’re feeling
Emotionally you might be feeling frustrated, unfulfilled, resentful, embarrassed or ashamed. Your confidence is low and you might be feeling hopeless about the future. You might be feeling bored, fed-up, flat or dissatisfied.
Your body feels simultaneously tired and wired. You might be experiencing tension and agitation alongside low energy and motivation.
What you’re saying & doing
You might be setting unrealistic goals then punishing yourself for not meeting them. Maybe you’re spending more time on your own, sleeping or watching TV, scrolling on your phone. You might be trying to numb your feelings – maybe you notice that you’re drinking more, or comfort eating.
It’s possible that you’re spending time looking for promises of a quick fix, or that you’re spending money on things that give you a short-term boost.
You could be on autopilot, going through the motions.
You might be saying things like, ‘next week I’ll start that….’, ‘I’ll do it later/tomorrow’, ‘If only I could….’
“it feels like unwanted change”
How it is – You’re navigating painful, unwanted change(s). It could be change that’s happening within you – e.g. hormones, menopause, appearance, or your physical health. Or it could be external change – bereavement, change in role or responsibilities, relationships or friendships, redundancy, retirement, etc.
What you’re thinking
‘This is so unfair’, ‘Why does this have to happen to me’, ‘I’m never going to be able to cope with this’, ‘This isn’t what I thought it would be’, ‘Things aren’t going the way I had planned/hoped’, ‘What am I going to do?’, ‘This shouldn’t have happened’, ‘I’m not having this’, ‘I can’t accept this’, ‘What’s the point’.
Maybe you’re trying to persuade yourself that there are people worse off than you, or telling yourself that you have no right to feel upset about the changes.
Your mind is in comparison mode – comparing your life with others’ lives, or with previous versions of yourself.
You might be seeking to apportion blame, or attempting to rationalise, reason with, or resist the change.
How you’re feeling
Emotionally you might be feeling sad, angry, hopeless, scared, disappointed, resentful, frustrated, anxious. You might be feeling guilty for feeling upset, or frustrated for feeling scared.
Your body might be tense, as though it’s trying to close in on itself. It could be hard to concentrate and you might find that you’re struggling with sleep. You might lack energy or motivation and feel sluggish.
What you’re saying & doing
If you’re trying to ignore or hide the change, this could look like keeping busy and distracted, changing the subject to avoid talking or thinking about the unwanted change.
You might be snapping at others if they remind you or ask you about it. You might find yourself putting on an act for others, to keep up appearances.
It’s likely you’ll be doing what you can to numb or avoid the painful emotions that are showing up. You might be drinking more than usual, or comfort eating for example. You might be investing a lot of time, energy or money (or all three) in trying to hold back, slow down, block out, or prevent the unwanted change.
You might struggle to make adjustments and that could lead to overdoing things, or missing out on things.