Three of my favourite self-discovery questions to ask clients in peri/post-menopause

I’m always talking about how important deepening self-knowledge is in navigating menopause (and other life events) and so thought I’d share a little more about why it matters, along with a couple of my favourite self-discovery prompts.

First of all I want to start with a bit of myth-busting!

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) has a bit of a reputation for ignoring the past and solely focusing on the here and now.  This is certainly NOT the case!

A good CBT psychotherapist will help you to understand what shaped your outlook on life and why you’ve developed the coping strategies that you have.  This often means looking back on your life to understand more about what and who has informed the beliefs you hold about yourself, the world and others.

‘We don’t see things as they are, we see things as we are’ – Anais Nin.

This quote really helps encapsulate why self-knowledge is key when we are wanting to make sense of why we do, think, and feel the way we do.  In my (more than 15 years) experience as a therapist people’s behaviour and perspective always makes total sense when we take some time to explore some of their earlier experiences.

In CBT we draw out a framework called a formulation to help us both to join the dots, making sense of where, why and how you’re feeling stuck.  Once we understand the problem we can work together to identify your values, the things that you want to change in order to live a life that’s aligned with what matters to you most.  Only once we have this shared understanding will we go about making some positive changes.

The really good thing about understanding what your beliefs and coping strategies are and where they came from is that you can then change and update these to serve you better in the here-and-now.

So with no further ado, here are three of my favourite self-discovery questions for clients in peri or post menopause.

1. Where/how/from who did you learn about peri/menopause?
2. What does peri/menopause mean to you personally – how would you define it?
3. How is peri/menopause affecting your life right now?