Changing the cycle of overwhelm

What is ‘overwhelm’?

I guess everyone will have a different definition of this and what overwhelm means and feels like for them.  My definition is something along the lines of:

First up, a sensation of rising panic.  My chest feels tight.  My head feels like it’s going to burst.  I’m tense and probably clenching my jaw.  My mind goes blank and I can’t think straight.  I don’t know where or how to start.  I feel almost paralysed by indecision.  My brain feels muddled.  Sometimes I feel tearful when I’m overwhelmed.  I feel frustrated at myself for not being able to snap out of it.  I feel resentful that these unreasonable tasks are being expected of me.  Daily tasks feel insurmountable and beyond me.

I have thoughts like, ‘What’s wrong with you?’; ‘You’re losing it’; ‘You should be able to handle this’; ‘You used to be able to do things like this without a second thought’; ‘This is impossible, I’ll never be able to do it’; ‘Why do I always end up having to do everything!’.

I’m probably being snappy and impatient.  There’s a good chance I’m being clumsy, knocking things over, dropping stuff, getting my sleeve caught on the door handle (why does that ONLY seem to happen when I’m overwhelmed?!).  I’m also likely to be forgetful and muddled.  I’ll either be rushing around or stock-still, staring into space.  Or engaging in a bit of escapism by scrolling on my phone.

That’s my definition.  Before you read on you might like to take a moment to reflect on how you experience overwhelm.  See if you can identify some of the over-riding thoughts, feelings and behaviours that come with overwhelm for you personally.

 

Now, when I’m feeling overwhelmed, the last thing I want is to have to generate a lot of solutions for myself.  So I came up with a list of do’s and dont’s to help me get unstuck.  I hope you find something helpful here too 🙂

Five Do’s and Don’ts to help you beat overwhelm

Stop striving to reach your ‘usually’ standards. (Tip – Look out for ‘compare and despair’ thinking habits here – e.g. ‘I used to be able to do X and now I can only do Y’; or ‘Usually I breeze through this, I can’t do anything anymore’).
Start asking yourself how you are each day at least once. Write your to-do list based on how you are today, not from how you ‘usually’ are.

Stop beating yourself up.
Start cheering yourself on.

Stop thinking that you have to do it all in one go
Start breaking it down into steps and take one tiny step today.

Stop having rigid rules for yourself.
Start flexing and making adjustments according to your cycle or how you’re doing today.

Stop with the self-critical thinking.
Start noticing how wonderful you are.  Have a go at noting down some of your positive qualities, or list some of the challenges you’ve overcome in your life.